Help me improve my essay please?

Very good essay but a few mistakes. In the second sentence you use impact twice in one statement, you do not wish to do this it limits the essay. In the sentence beginning with Personally, I would rearrange the sentence. Personally, I advocate the fact that with more educated and cultured people, a country can flourish and prosper. The word thrive should be switched to thriving. From where I stand you need a comma after stand. After respect and understanding it is a run on sentence so after understanding you will need a period. On the other side, scientific knowledge taught in schools and universities ensures to a nation more factual benefits on the economic aspect mostly. The word mostly ruins this welll written sentence. Get rid of all in all we can still understand you are wrapping up the essay without it.